The Life And Times Of Emer Albrock

had bloods done today, all ok for chemo on friday. their advise about the lump was to see my GP, so I think I will wait until I see Dr Mithal on friday, she is the expert!! Bilirubin is 10, which is high for me, but up to 22 is normal. Not sure of my neutraphils, will have to ask on friday. Have new chemo, docetaxel on friday so am doubley nervous, CT results AND new chemo. Have contemplated what I will do if she tells me I have 6 months to live and it is spreading, but I really dont know. I think this chemo is going to be more unpleasant than the last one, I have to start taking 8 steroids a day the day before chemo (Tomorrow)!!!!!!!!!! normally I have 3 a day starting the day after.

Have had a stressful few days, worrying about what the CT scan is going to show and what this new Docetaxel chemo is going to do to me. I have found a lump in the other breast, really painful and quite large. I am sure it was not there a few days ago, I regularly check myself because I am paranoid!!! There is also a red mark, which I dont like the look of either. Have to see my oncologist on friday so I guess there is nothing I can do till then. If it is cancer, then I guess thats the end cos its is spreading through chemo.

Have a CT scan tomorrow, kinda dreading it because I wonder what they will find, has it spread, has it got bigger in my liver?? I have this new chemo too soon. docetaxel and am nerbous cos I dont know how I will react to it. I have lost most of my head hair, pubic hair, under arm and leg hair, but not the hair on my arms and upper lip (lol). And nasal hair has almost gone too, so I snot a lot when I laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!! My poor veins are so tired and shrink whenever they feel a needle coming near. They only use the veins on one arm because they do't like to use the arm in the side that has the cancer, something to do with odema or summink. Hopefully my bloods are going to be up enough to have chemo on 1st june. Been having bone marrow stimulation drugs, which have supercharged my neutraphils (immunity) so hopefully I can fight back better.

OK the story so far. There I was just minding my own business, prancing through life, studying midwifery at uni when BAM I am hit. Cancer decided that I was doing far too dandy and I needed a lesson in stopping and standing still for a while!!!! After a history of breast cysts, I toddled along to the hospital for the latest spate of them with absolutely no worry at all. Ooops!!!! After an ultrasound they immediately did a mammogram (I am 32 for gods sake) and then said I would need a biopsy before I left the building.

A week later I nochanantly went for the results on my own, no problem I thought!! WRONG. It was confirmed that I have grade 3 (out of 3) breast cancer, the most aggressive form. After a barrage of scans and tests it was discovered that it has spread to my liver as well. The worst thing has been telling my 7 1/2 and 6 year old children, but I have been totally honest with them.

I have now completed 3 courses of FEC chemotheraphy and they have made me poorly. I am about to embark on another 3 of Docetaxel and after chatting to people I decided to keep a blog from now on. Hopefully it will help people who are going through the same kind of thing, or about to start. at worst it will be a memory for my children.